Disneyland is a wondrous place full of technologically-advanced rides, delicious food and a small army of iconic cartoon characters who, until fairly recently, were forced to wear communal underpants. Yikes. Nothing in The Haunted Mansion even comes close to the horror of the phrase “communal underpants.”

The park first welcomed visitors back in July 1955, and it was a magical clusterfuck right out of the gate. Opening day of the “Happiest Place on Earth” was plagued by overcrowding, gas leaks and more public urination than a Parisian incontinence convention.

Despite the fact that it was an unmitigated disaster, Disney still seems to be intent on celebrating the anniversary of the park’s opening this month. And unless our math is mistaken, 2024 marks the 69th anniversary.

But you wouldn’t know that from any of Disney’s promotions this summer, because they’re instead choosing to celebrate the “Road to the 70th.” You know, like how most people celebrate its 39th birthday as the “Road to 40.”

The park is at least selling special tickets for $69, but with tax and parking, it probably comes out to a slightly less-scandalous number.

A lot of fans took notice of the awkward celebratory phrasing, suggesting that it was likely contrived in order to distract attention away from the fact that this year’s anniversary happens to also be the name of a sexual position.

And Disney probably didn’t want to produce a bunch of Mickey balloons and Winnie the Pooh T-shirts with “69” branded on them. Although we all know they’d sell out in a heartbeat.

We shouldn’t be too surprised that Disney is going to great lengths to prevent the immature masses from tittering at its big anniversary. After all, these are the same buzzkills who banned alcohol from the park for decades, reserving the right to drink booze for the wealthy elite dining in Disneyland’s private club. Not to mention, the company’s streaming service edited swear words out of films, and used CGI technology to cover-up Daryl Hannah’s butt more than 30 years after it had been exposed.

Disney trying to sidestep mockery of its 69th anniversary seems pretty pointless. For starters, there’s a bit of a “Streisand Effect” thing going on here. A lot of people are now talking about Disneyland’s 69th anniversary specifically because Disneyland is actively playing down its 69th anniversary. Also, people seem to be able to find adult jokes in Disney content regardless. Remember the “sex” cloud in The Lion King? Or Minnie Mouse’s phallic dress? Or how everyone thought that the Little Mermaid lived in an undersea kingdom made up of dildo castles?

If people are going to crack these jokes anyway, Disney really should have just stuck to its guns and plastered the Magic Kingdom in 69-themed paraphernalia.