PROLOGUE
Onstage is a small, white, curtained gazebo. The backdrop shows a typical American park. There is a bright fanfare and the curtains open to reveal an eagle, Sam, holding an arrow. He has a red, white and blue striped and starred shield on his chest. Beside him is an owl, Ollie, w/ a tricornered hat. We hear a few bars of ''Yankee Doodle'' and Sam begins to sing along.
SAM: Yankee Doodle went to town Riding on a pony Stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni. Yankee Doodle keep it up. Yankee Doodle dandy. Mind the music and the step And with the girls be handy.(music finishes; Sam chuckles)
''Yankee Doodle.'' (music continues as underscore) Yes, folks, that was America's first popular song. And that's what this show is all about: America's music.
OLLIE: Where'd the songs come from, Sam?
SAM: Why, they were the songs people brought from their native countries.
OLLIE: They did? What kind of music was it?
SAM: Sometimes it was happy, (bright riff) sometimes it was sad. (somber passage) And sometimes it just spoke of love, like (sings) I dream of Jeannie with the light brown hair.
OLLIE: Ooh, very nice. But frankly, I prefer... All around the cobbler's bench The monkey chased the weasel The monkey thought 'twas all in fun...
(Blackout. A single spot comes up on a tiny ''house'' at the top of the gazebo. A smiling weasel pops out.)
WEASEL: (Pop! sound) Goes the weasel! (He laughs mischeviously, pops back in and the doors slam shut. Lights back up on Sam and Ollie, who laugh.)
SAM: And now, let's travel on through history and hear America sing!
OLLIE: Sing it, Sam!
The lights black out and a hidden mirror ball comes on. The audience seating bank begins to rotate.)
SAM: Yankee Doodle traveled south, A-riding on a riverboat Played a tune and sang it out It sounded like a billygoat Yankee Doodle like the South And sang their songs so dear Thought they were most elegant for everyone to hear.
(curtains close on gazebo)
SAM, OLLIE: Yankee Doodle sing it up Yankee Doodle dandy Mind the music and the words And with the songs be handy.
(Another chorus of ''Yankee Doodle'' plays in a dixieland arrangement.)
ACT I--GOING SOUTH
(The mirror ball turns off and the lights come up. We are in a southern bayou. At the left side of the stage is a group of frogs. A grove of trees opens, revealing 4 geese.)
GEESE: Oh, I wish I was in the land of cotton Old times there are not forgotten Look away, look away, look away Dixieland.
1 GOOSE: I got a gal and you got none.
ANOTHER GOOSE: I gotta go and you gotta run.
HIGH TENOR GOOSE: Doo-dah.
BASS GOOSE: Doo-dah.
GEESE: ..those old doo-dah days.
The trees close and lights down on geese. Lights up on the porch of an old plantation house swinging into view on the right. An old bloodhound is relaxing in a rocking chair smoking a pipe.)
CHORUS: (not onstage) The sun shines bright on my old Kentucky home. 'Tis summer, the old folks are gay.
COL.. HOUNDSTOOTHE (Dog): (spoken) It's the good life.
CHORUS: The corn tips ripe (Several ears of corn pop open.) And the meadows in the bloom. (A patch of flowers comes up.) And the birds make music all the day.
(Blackout. Spot up on the Col.'s weather vane, which depicts a bird. The vane turns as we hear a bird sing. A grove of trees opens to the right of the Col, and we see Sam and Ollie on a donkey.)
SAM: Now, the Swamp Boys.
(Lights up on a group of 4 alligators playing instruments and a raccoon on harmonica. The frogs croak in rhythym.)
SWAMP BOYS: Oh, I went down south For to see my Sal Singing polly wolly doodle all the day My Sally is a spunky gal Singing polly wolly doodle all the day Fare thee well Fare thee well Fare thee well my fairy fay I'm off to Louisiana for to see my Suzy-anna Singing polly wolly doodle all the day.
SAM: (chuckles) And now, a tender complaint.
OLLIE: Sung from the heart.
(Lights up on a mother possum bathing her brood in a washtub. She is using a washboard and hanging them out to dry by their tails.)
MOTHER: When I was single Dressed all so fine Now I am married, go ragged all the time. Lord, I wish I was a single girl again.
FROGS: Aaaaaaaw.
(Bubbling sounds. Lights up on a fox in a rocking chair w/ a distiller nearby.)
FOX: Down in the valley. The valley so low (distiller bubbles). Late in the evening. Hear the train blow. (train whistle). Write me a letter. Send it by mail. Send it in care of The Birmingham Jail
(A jail backdrop comes up behind him. Suddenly the weasel pops out of the distiller.)
WEASEL: (pop sound).goes the weasel! Hee, hee!
(Lights up on a chorus of foxes and hens, about 12 in all, filling the stage.)
1 HEN: Well, I'm gonna lay down my burden.
ALL: Down!
HEN: Down by the riverside.
ALL: Down!
HEN:Down by the riverside.
ALL: Down!
HEN: Down by the riverside Gonna lay down my burden.
ALL: Down!
HEN: Down by the riverside, and
ALL: Study war no more. No, no!
HEN: Ain't gonna study
ALL: War no more.
HEN: Ooooooh, study.
ALL: War no more.
HEN:Ain't gonna study.
ALL:War no more.
HEN:Oooooh, study.
ALL:War no more. Ain't gonna study war no more, no more. No more, no more!
FROGS:Bum, bum.
SAM:And now, let's journey on. (tugs donkey's reins) Tug away!
OLLIE:Giddyap, you all! (Theater begins to turn.)
SAM: Well, Yankee Doodle headed west. A-working on the railroad. Crossing them rivers, over hills. And moving with a big load. Onward west the trains rolled. Where cattle were a-grazin' . The tales and songs that people sang. Were really quite amazin'
(Blackout. Mirror ball on.)
CHORUS: Yankee doodle, sing it up. Yankee doodle dandy. Mind the music and the words. And with the songs be handy.
(''Yankee Doodle'' plays in a country arrangement.)
ACT II--HEADING WEST
(Lights up and mirror ball off. We are in a desert somewhere out west. There are tall buttes on either side of the stage. Near the left side of the stage stands a long-dead tree w/ a cow skull at its base. Sitting on what's left of the tree are two evil-looking vultures in top hats. The 4 geese are in the same place as before, only now they are in an old, run-down saloon.)
GEESE: Drill, ye tarriers, drill. Drill, ye tarriers, drill. Oh, it's work all day with no sugar in your tea. When you meet me on the way. And drill, ye tarriers, drill.
(A handcart being operated by a fox and a rabbit emerges from behind the butte on the left, travels across the stage during the next song and disappears behind the butte on the right.)
GEESE: I've been workin' on the railroad. All the live long day. I've been workin' on the railroad. To pass the time away.
(Music picks up. The handcart comes back out on the right and proceeds back across the stage twice as fast.)
GEESE:Here she comes. Look at 'er roll. There she goes. Keep it cool. Watch 'er fly. Look at 'er sail. Let 'er by, by, by. The Fireball Mail
(Handcart crashes offstage. There is an explosion effect. A Scream is also heard. The saloon twirls around, hiding the geese. Lights up on Sam and Ollie, in an old wagon stuck in quicksand.)
SAM: My, my, my. Ahem. And now, Saddle Sore Swanson!
OLLIE: Who?
(Lights up on Saddle Sore, a turkey buzzard wearing spurs and 10-gallon hat and strumming a guitar.)
SADDLESORE: Yee-hah! Well, come along boys and listen to my tale. And I'll tell y'all my troubles on the Old Chisholm Trail. Come-a-ty-yi, yippi-yippi-ay. Come-a-ty-yi, yippi-yippi-ay. Well, I went to the boss to draw my roll, and--(music breaks) (spoken). He had me figured nine dollars in the hole. (as his platform descends and the spot goes out) Ay-yi-yi-yi.
(Another platform begins to ascend on the opposite side of the stage. Gunshot. Lights up on an old dog, a terrier, dressed as a prospector. He rides a donkey carrying barrels marked ''EXPLOSIVES.'' His 10-gallon hat has a bullet hole through the center.)
MINER: Who shot that hole in my sombrero? Who put that bullet through my hy-at? Who shot that hole in my sombrero? Who would do a turrible thang like thy-at? I cain't figger . Who'd pull that trigger. (spoken) You don't reckin mah *wife* could be back in ty-own?
(music finishes and the weasel emerges from the barrel of blasting powder.)
WEASEL: (pop sound).goes the weasel. Hee, hee.
SAM:The tail end of Billy the Kid.
OLLIE: Sung by the Boothill Boys.
(These are the two vultures who have been eyeing us menacingly all this time. They don't actually sing the song, just talk it.)
VULTURE 1: Billy was a bad guy, and carried a big gun.
VULTURE 2: He was always after lawmen, and kept them on the run. (evil chuckle) (funereal music)
VULTURE 1: One day he met a bandit.
VULTURE 2: Who was a whole lot badder.
BOTH: Now Billy's dead and gone And we ain't none the sadder. (more evil chuckles; musical finish)
(Lights up behind the backdrop. Another terrier prospector is strumming a guitar on top of a small butte. As ''Tex Ranger'' sings this little-known verse of ''Home on the Range,'' other creatures--a rattlesnake, a roadrunner, 2 prairie dogs, a desert tortoise, and an owl, most of them in hats--rise from below to listen.)
TEX: Oh, give me a land. Where the bright diamond sand. Flows leisurely down the stream. Where the graceful white swan. Goes glidin' along. Like a maid in a heavenly dream. Home, home on the range. (coyote howls off in the distance) Where the deer and the antelope play. Where seldom is heard a discouraging word. And the skies are not cloudly all day.
( Lights up on Sam and Ollie. Theater starts to move.)
SAM: The Gay 90's were upon us now. The country was in full swing. People headin' for the cities. Had to do their own thing. Each time the people sang a song. The tunesmiths wrote another. 'Bout love, marriage, moon in June. And always one about Mother.
(Blackout. Mirror ball on.)
SAM, OLLIE: Yankee Doodle, sing it up. Oh, Yankee Doodle dandy. Mind the music and the words. And with the songs be handy.
(''Yankee Doodle'' plays in a soft-shoe arrangement.)
ACT III--THE GAY 90'S
(Lights up and mirror ball off. We are in an elaborate ballroom straight out of the gay 90's. There are gaslights, ''gingerbread'' architecture, and two velvet-curtained stages, one at each side. The left stage opens up to reveal the now-familiar geese.)
A SOLO GOOSE: She may be somebody's mother.Come, let her go her way.
GEESE: The Bowery, the Bowery. They sing strange things and they do strange things. After the ball is over. After the break of morn.
SOLO: Where is my wand'ring boy tonight? Down in the licensed saloon.
(Curtains close. Lights up on a mother rabbit w/ her bunnies standing in front of a full length window. She is holding a candle.)
MA RABBIT: Learning new vices all the night long. Tempted to all that's sinful and wrong. (An animated silhouette of her son, appears in the window.) Lis'ning to the siren's old song. Down in the licensed saloon.
(Lights up on a pig dressed in a showgirl outfit with a big plume and holding a hanky. There is a potted plant next to her. Sam and Ollie are seated at a table nearby.)
PIG:Won't you come home, Bill Bailey? Won't you c'mon home? She moans the whole nightlong. Boo hoo hoo! I'll do the cookin', darlin'. I'll pay the rent. I know I've done you wrong. Boo hoo hoo! Remember that rainy evenin'. I threw you out. With nothin' but a fine tooth comb? I know I'se to blame, well, Ain't that a shame? Bill Bailey, won't you please come home? (spoken) C'mon home, Bill.
(Weasel pops out of plant.)
WEASEL: (pop sound).goes the weasel! (giggle)
SAM: And now, Blossom Nose Murphy.
(Both curtained boxes open. The one on the right shows a fifth goose, clinging to a bottle of cheap liquor. His nose has a distinct red tinge to it. A gruff terrier policeman holds him by the collar.)
MURPHY: (drunkenly) Sweeeeeet Aaaaaaaaduuuuuuhliiiiine.
GEESE: (echo) Sweet Adeline.
MURPHY: Mmmmmmmmy Aaaaaaduuuhliiiiiiiiiine.
GEESE: My Adeline.
MURPHY: Aaaaat niiiiiiiight, dear heaaaaaaaart.
GEESE: At night, dear heart.
MURPHY: Ffffffffffforrrrrrrr youuuuuuu I piiiiiiiine.
GEESE: For you I pine.
(Suddenly the song is interrupted by the sound of an auto horn. Lights up on the Ol' Gray Mare, in a period jalopy which seems to have a mind of its own. The trunk and hood open and slam in time w/ the music.)
MARE: (exclaims proudly) I'm the Old Gray Mare!
CHORUS: (sung) She ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be.
MARE: (spoken) The Old Gray Mare!
CHORUS: (sung) She ain't what she used to be, many long years ago.
MARE: (chuckles) Don't you believe it, sonny!
(The trunk gives a final decisive slam. Part of the back wall opens up to allow an ornate birdcage to pass through. There is a champagne bucket attached to the cage.)
BIRD: She's only a bird in a gilded cage.
(Lights up on a fox at floor level.)
FOX: (in a fine Irish tenor) A beautiful sight to see.
BIRD: You may think she is happy and free from care.
FOX: She's not, though she seems to be.
BIRD: (yells) Ta ra ra BOOM de ay!
(Basically, the entire set opens up and turns into a vaudeville showroom. There are can can chicks--kicking, a pig waiter dancing while precariously balancing a tray of glasses, --storks riding velocipedes along the walls of the set! Everyone joins in.)
ALL:Ta ra (ta ra) ra boom de ay! Ta ra (ta ra) ra boom de ay! Ta ra ra boom de ay!
BIRD: Ta ra ra BOOM de ay!
ALL: Ta ra (ta ra) ra boom de ay! Ta ra (ta ra) ra boom de ay! Ta ra ra boom de ay! Ta ra ra boom de ay, boom de ay, Boom ta ra ra boom Boom ta ra ra Boom ta ra ra BOOM DE AYYYYYYY!
WEASEL: Pop goes the weasel. Hiccup!
(Theater starts to turn.)
SAM: Next came ragtime, blues and jazz.The nation was a-jumpin'! Fox trots and the bunny hug had everyone a-stompin'. Then swing and big bands were the rage. The songs they were most pleasin'. Rock and roll soon took its toll. The dancers stopped a-squeezin'.
(Blackout. Mirror ball on.)
SAM, OLLIE: Yankee Doodle sing it up. Oh, Yankee Doodle dandy. Mind the music and the words. And with the songs be handy.
(''Yankee Doodle'' plays in a rock arrangment.)
ACT IV--MODERN TIMES
(Lights up and mirror ball off. We are in a back alley of a large city. There are multistory apartment buildings all around. There is a cafe nearby. A house twirls around at the left side of the stage and we see the geese.)
GEESE: Ja da, ja da. Ja da ja da jing jing jing. Ja da, ja da. Ja da ja da jing jing jing. I'll be down to catch you in a taxi, honey. You better be ready round a half past eight. Now, dearie, don't be late. I wanna be there when the band starts playin'. Singin' in the rain. Just singin' in the rain. What a glorious feelin'. I'm happy again. I'm laughin' at clouds. So dark up above. The sun's in my heart and I'm ready for love.
(A car horn beeps twice. A garage door opens and a model T pulls out. Two kittens, holding a college pennant, are riding w/ their dates, who are foxes. All are dressed in the ''jitterbug'' fashion.)
GROUP: A tisket, a tasket. A green and yellow basket. I sent a letter to my mommy. On the way I dropped it. Boo hoo. You've got me cryin' for you.
KITTENS: And as I sit here and sigh. Say, I.
ALL: I can't believe it's true.
(The horn honks three times and the car backs into the garage. Lights up on the cafe. A pig is out in front playing jazz piano. He actually entered through the door of the cafe, rather than just up through the floor.)
PIG: The people gather 'round. When he gets on the stand. Then when he plays. He gets a hand. The rhythm he plays puts the cats in a trance. Nobody there. Bob is through dancin' when he plays with the bass guitar They holler, ''Oooh, beat me Daddy Eight to the bar'' A-blink, a-blank.
(Weasel pops out of piano.)
WEASEL: (pop noise).goes the weasel! (giggle)
(Lights up on Sam and Ollie, on a rooftop.)
SAM: Okay, boys, act alive and *jive!*
(Lights up on a rock band consisting of a hippie stork w/ dreadlocks, love beads, and granny glasses, a porcupine on drums, and a rooster w/his crest teased into a fright wig.)
STORK: You ain't nothin' but a hound dog Cryin' all the time
ROOSTER: Yeaaaaaah!
STORK: You ain't nothin' but a hound dog Cryin' all the time.(An alligator, also wearing love beads, appears at right carrying a valise that says ''Florida or Bust.'') Weeeeeeeell, See you later, alligator.
GATOR: (spoken) Goin' uptown.
STORK:After a while, crocodile.
GATOR: (spoken) Movin' out.
STORK: See you later, alligator.
GATOR: (spoken) Feelin' good.
STORK: After a while, crocodile.
(An upper-level apartment twirls to reveal a flower child band, this one a stork and frog. The stork is wearing a daisy crown. They are in a diner, w/ pots hanging all around.)
STORK: Get outta that kitchen and rattle those pots and pans!
VOICE: Coming up!
STORK: And roll my bread because I'm a hungry man. Let's shake, rattle and roll.
FROG: (in a very low bass) Yeeeeeeeeeah.
STORK: Let's shake, rattle, and roll.
FROG: Oh, ba-by.
STORK: Let's shake, rattle, and roll.
FROG: Yeeeeeeeeeah.
STORK: Let's shake, rattle, and roll.
(Diner twirls back around. A pair of storks on a motorcycle--enters on the left side, balancing along a wall. The girl has a guitar on her back. They are wearing helmets.)
GUY: Yeah, twistin'.
GIRL: (spoken, effervescently) Twistin'!
GUY: New York.
GIRL: (spoken) New York!
GUY: And old Chicago town.
GIRL: Oooooooooh!
GUY: In Hartford.
GIRL: Hartford!
GUY: And Frisco.
GIRL: Frisco!!
BOTH: They all go round and round. Up and down and around and around and around.
(All characters in this scene come out again for the finale. There are multicolored lights and the music goes up.)
ALL: Joy to the world. All the boys and girls. Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea. Joy to you and me. Joy to the world (Sing out!). All the boys and girls. Joy to the fishes in the deep blue seeeeeea. (big slowdown for finish). Joy To you And me!
(Sam does a little scat solo. Song finishes. The characters retreat. Theater starts to turn.)
SAM: Yes, folks, Yankee Doodle remembers when.To make these songs ring true. People came from every land. To mix these tunes for you. So we should all remember. As hist'ry moves along. That everything is better now. 'Cause someone knows the song.
(Blackout. Mirror ball on.)
SAM AND OLLIE: Yankee Doodle, sing it up. Oh, Yankee Doodle dandy. Mind the music and the words. And with the songs be handy.
(''Yankee Doodle'' continues in a splashy contemporary arrangment w/ lots of brass.)
EPILOGUE
(Lights up and mirror ball off. We are back where we started, in the same sleepy little park. There is a tiny zoo on the left hand side of the backdrop. Sam and Ollie are in their little bandstand, in the same costumes as before.)
SAM: (singing as music continues quietly behind him). Yankee Doodle always says. The past is just a start.Tomorrow will bring songs to you. That comes straight from the heart. Another thing he had to say. Was life is just a song. So everybody get in tune. And let's all sing along.
(At this point, a stereo effect is used, to make it sound as if the audience were singing.)
CHORUS: Should auld acquaintance be forgot. And never brought to mind. Should auld acquaintance be forgot. And days of auld lang syne.
(Blackout. Spot up on weasel's house at top of bandstand.)
WEASEL: Goodbye goes the weasel! (giggle)
(House doors slam shut. House lights up immediately. The CM gives us the standard cheerful goodbye spiel as we exit into Tomorrowland, to an upbeat rendition of ''Stars and Stripes Forever.'')