QUEUE
STAR SPEEDER REPAIR BAY AREA:
As you enter the Star Tour's attraction queue, you enter what looks like a repair bay, where you see two familiar droids working a StarSpeeder in the front. To the right is a see-through screen of plastic tiles that becomes opaque in different patterns. The whole screen becomes opaque when advertisements are projected on it. We enter in a conversation that is currently going on.
Male Announcer 1: ''Attention please, all droids leaving the system must cleared by custom's control, proof of ownership is required for all droid passengers.''
C3PO: '''Proof of ownership?' We droids are made to suffer such indignities''
R2D2: Warbles
C3PO: ''What is it now, R2?''
R2D2: Warbles
C3PO: ''Don't get technical with me! What pressure? The fuel pressure!?!.... Well, why didn't you say so in the first place? Let me check.''
R2D2: Warbles.
C3PO: ''Yes, I am getting rather high read here.... Oh yes, R2, I am shutting off the main line right now!!!''
R2D2: Warbles
C3PO: ''Just you get back to fixed that motivator!''
R2D2: Warbles
C3PO: ''These new transports are impossible!''
Ad comes on the Screen
Male Announcer 2: ''Star Tours introduces the perfect getaway vacation, with exclusive tour packages to Hoth. Now you can ski the most incredible slopes in the galaxy, or if you prefer, explore beautiful and mysteries ice caverns and the famed echo base of the rebellion forces. And while you are there, be sure to enjoy the exhilarating ride on a Taun Taun. It's all on Hoth, and it all begins soon, only from Star Tours. Watch for details.''
C3PO: ''Well, you'll never get me to go back to that iceberg!''
R2D2: Warbles
C3PO: ''I don't care how safe it is now, R2, it gives my motivators the chills just thinking about it. Hmmm, I would rather be sent to, the spice mines of Kessel then go back to Hoth.''
Male Supervisor: ''Hey, you droids on transport 22, get back to work!''
C3PO: ''Now see what you have done! We'll lose our jobs for sure.''
R2D2: Warbles
C3PO: ''Don't insult me you overgrown scrap pile! At least I'm doing my job!''
R2D2: Warbles
C3PO: ''Yes, I am. So you just get back to fixing that hyperdrive motivator!''
Female announcer: ''Will the owner of a red and black landspeeder vehicle ID THX-1138 please return to your craft. You're parked in a no-hover area.''
Male Announcer: ''All passengers who wish to exchange currency, prior to departure, are invited to visit the exchange office, opened daily during regular flight hours.''
Female Announcer: ''There has been a gate change for Star Tours flight 114, StarSpeeder service to Endor. Flight 114 will now be departing from gate number 2. This is a gate change only. Thank you.''
C3PO: ''I do wish I could go with you to Endor....''
R2D2: Something shorts and he warbles loudly....
C3PO: ''On second thought, I just remembered how much I hate space travel. You have a nice trip though, R2.''
Female Announcer: ''Attention please. Star Tours flight 119, non-stop service to Endor, is now ready for boarding at gate number 1. All passengers please proceed to the boarding area immediately.''
R2D2: Warbles
C3PO: ''R2D2, just what do you think you are doing?''
R2D2: Warbles
C3PO: ''Get back to work, before they deactivate you!''
R2D2: Warbles
C3PO: ''Yes, I think they would. And hurry up, they'll be needing this transport any moment now.''
R2D2: Warbles
C3PO: ''No, I don't feel sorry for you at all.''
R2D2: Warbles
C3PO: ''Well, how should I know what's wrong with the ship? I am a interpreter, not a astromech. However, you might just check the logic circuits, sometimes I think these new transports have a mind of their own.''
Male Announcer:''Your attention please. All interplanetary travelers must have a current passport and the necessary visas prior to leaving the space port. Passengers requiring assistance should visit the nearest information kiosk. Thank you.''
Ad comes on the Screen
Male Announcer 2: ''Star Tours is now offering convenient daily departures to the exotic moon of Endor. Come spend a afternoon or the entire day with the lovable Ewoks, in their charming tribal villages. It's a fun filled visit you and your family will remember forever! Just ask for the Endor Express. Available only from Star Tours. Non-stop flights leave ever few minutes, so don't delay. Visit Endor today.''
C3PO: ''Things have certainly changed since we were last there. I thought we were doomed for sure. But we did survive... somehow.''
R2D2: Warbles.
C3PO: ''Thank you R2. I don't know what I would do without you either.''
Female Announcer: ''Star Tours flight 55, is now ready for boarding at gate number 3. At this time, we would like to board those passengers with droids or anyone requiring special assistance. Thank you.''
Male Supervisor: ''Transport 22. Prepare for elevation to passengers boarding level.''
C3PO: ''Oh, that's us R2. Standby for final systems check.''
R2D2: Warbles.
C3PO: ''Forward lights........ Check''
C3PO: ''Defector shield....... Check''
C3PO: ''Laser cannons......... Check''
C3PO: ''Hyper.... I said check R2! Shut them down before you blow up the entire place!''
R2D2: Warbles.
C3PO: ''Sometimes R2, I can't understand your logic at all.''
R2D2: Warbles
C3PO: ''No, not at all.''
Female Announcer: ''We'd like to continue the boarding of Flight 55 to Endor. All passengers holding confirmed tickets may board at this time thru gate number 3. Thank you.''
Ad comes on the Screen
Male Announcer 2: ''Star Tours is proud to introduce the StarSpeeder 3000. The most advanced transport of it's kind in existence. With high speed warp drive and a travel range of over a 1 billion light years, the 3000 makes touring the galaxy safe and comfortable. And all our StarSpeeders are piloted by the newest, most reliable RX droids, so you can sit back, relax and enjoy the sites. Whenever your plans call for intergalactic travel, call on the best! Star Tours.''
C3PO: ''If this transport is the best, then why are we always repairing it?''
R2D2: Warbles
C3PO: ''What do you mean, you are doing all the work? You ungrateful little twit! I've just about had enough of you. Why, you wouldn’t even have this job if it wasn't for me.''
R2D2: Warbles
C3PO: ''No, you wouldn't, so you might just show a little gratitude.''
R2D2: Warbles
C3PO: ''Your welcome. Now get back to work.''
Female Announcer: ''Departing Endor passenger, Sacul, Mr. Egroeg Sacul, please see the Star Tours agent at gate number 3. Mr. Morrow, Mr. Tom Morrow, please check with a Star Tours agent at gate number 4.''
R2D2: Warbles
C3PO: ''Yes, I know exactly what I am doing, don't you worry about me.''
Male Supervisor: ''Ahh, Transport 22, I am getting a critical reading on your laser cannon. Shutdown immediately!''
Buzzers and sirens go on
C3PO: ''Oh, oh no, R2, what have I done? We're doomed! Deactivate the cannon circuits!.....''
R2D2: Warbles
C3PO: ''No, disconnect them all!''
R2D2: Warbles
Buzzers and sirens go off
C3PO: ''Oh, thank the Makers.''
Female Announcer: ''Your attention please for the following gate announcements. Flight 704, local service to Endor, will now depart thru gate number 4. Flight 1082, the Endor Express, will now depart thru gate number 1. These are gate changes only. Thank you.''
Ad comes on the Screen
Male Announcer 2: ''Star Tours announces another one of our exciting adventure tours. Join us on a trek to Tatooine. Start your visit with a trip to the galactic zoo. Then race over the Mos Eisley cantina, for cocktails with the galaxies most outrageous characters. If adventure is your middle name, this is the tour for you. The Trek To Tatooine, StarSpeeder service begins soon, reservations are limited so, call your travel agent for Star Tours today.''
C3PO: ''Well, that's one trip they can keep! I have no intention of getting another case of dust contamination.''
R2D2: Warbles
C3PO: ''I totally agree, R2. Besides, I am perfectly content here with you. So long as you don't mess things up.''
R2D2: Warbles
C3PO: ''Watch your language, R2. And check the laser cannons, you don't know what space debris you'll run into.''
R2D2: Warbles
C3PO: ''Ok, R2, I am getting a full power reading. Now shutdown the system before it discharges.''
Ad comes on the Screen
Male Announcer 2: ''Star Tours is now offering convenient daily departures to the exotic moon of Endor. Come spend a afternoon or the entire day with the lovable Ewoks, in their charming tribal villages. It's a fun filled visit you and your family will remember forever! Just ask for the Endor Express. Available only from Star Tours. Non-stop flights leave ever few minutes, so don't delay. Visit Endor today.''
C3PO: ''I really don't understand why they aren't sending me on the Endor tour. After all, I am something of a legend with the Ewoks. What with my magic and all.''
R2D2: Warbles
C3PO: ''Well, the Ewoks thought it was mine. Besides, I could be of great assistance as a interpreter.''
Female Announcer: ''Star Tours announces the cancellation of flight 124. Any passengers holding confirmed tickets for flight 124 should check the nearest Star Tours agent.''
DROID REPAIR AREA:
As we pass the Star Speeder and go into the next room, we see a two droids, a G219 droid working on a older droid, and a G214 droid working the ticket/customs desk. All pagings are heard at the same time.
G219: ''These shutdown breaks are getting much too short. Now, what have we have here? Hmm, Hey, haven't I seen you before, seems like I am always fixing this burnout. Oh, let's see now, no, no, that can't be right. Hmm....''
G219:''Hey, you there, ah excuse me? Hello? I am talking to you! Yes, you! Are you very mechanical? Well, I was just wondering if you could tell me where this goes? See I wasn't really online when they where programming us for logic repair, usually I can figure it out but these old ACK 5 are kinda built backwards, you know what I mean? Hmm? No, you...don't...know... what...I...mean.... Well, don't worry, this isn't your navigator, No, I fixed him hours ago but thanks for trying to helping me out and, you have a nice day. I'll figure this out,....... eventually.''
Female Supervisor: ''Attention please, attention please, there has been a disruption in the labor output of droids, sector 2, all work is to resume immediately, or power disconnect with be initiated.''
G219: ''Oh oh, I better get back to work. Oh, try to keep the moving folks, I am not programmed for dispatch. You know, it's not polite to stare.''
G219: ''Now, was I suppose to weld that logic module positive to positive or negative to negative? No, no I'm positive it was negative to positive, absolutely positive.''
G219: ''Hey, what are you all staring at? Ohh, me! You got cameras, why don't you guys take a picture, it will last longer. Geesh, alot of families here today. Glad your flying with us. You know, I like families. Sure, I see alot of mine these days. Oh look, there's Gus. Hi, Dad! Dad was the top Star Tours pilot. Kinda took a crash course in StarSpeeders.... If you know what I mean. Now he is a really basket case. Yeap, that's him all over. It's a shame too, really gone to pieces. Hey, are you all together today? Are you sure? Ok, you have your orders then.''
Female Supervisor: ''Attention please, attention please, we are experiencing unusual behavior in the G2 droids in sector 2. Maintenance units begin surveillance of all sector 2, G2 droids.''
G219: ''I'm listening to KDROID, my favorite station. This is the latest hit song, Danny and the Droids, it's called, 'I want to weld your hand'. I love those robot-toe intro's. Hey man, care to bogy? You might peddle up your motions, your units are looking real hydraulic.''
G219: (Singing) '''I've been working on the same droid, all my live long day.' hehehe, stick'em up. I love the west. It reminds me of my last home on Tatooine. Hey, speaking of homes, how about taking me with you when you leave, will you wait for me? I get off work in a few years. Pllleeeaassee?''
Female Supervisor: ''Monitor circuits continue detect a decrease in production activities in droids sector 2. Shutdown procedures will begin in 60 seconds, unless output increases immediately.''
G219: ''You see, now your getting me in trouble. That's what happens when you talk to humanoid. Always trouble. I'm sorry, but I have to get back to work.''
G219: ''Hello, how are you? I'm, ah, G219, fixit-bee labor droid, see my job is to fix the pilots and navigators for Star Tours. It's a really neat job, I mean, I like it and you get to meet alot of really nice droids and,.... excuse me, excuse me? you look awfully familiar, wasn't I in your service? a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away? Oh, I guess not. You only have one head. Hey, that's a very nice droid your traveling with, but if you ever like to trade that one in for a newer unit? Let me know. Come by and see me anytime. I'm always here.''
Female Supervisor: ''Malfunction in sector 2, malfunction in sector 2. All droids will be shutdown for reloading of labor program. Standby for power disconnect.''
G219: ''Here we go again. Their going to pull the plug on me. See you later folks. It's nap tiimmmmeeeeee......''
CUSTOMS DROID AREA:
We walk around this first droid and meet the next customs droid
G214: ''These shutdown's are becoming a pain in the neck! heh, literately! ooh.''
Computer Supervisor: Warbles
G214: ''Yeah, Yeah, I hear you. What? Passports? How do I know if they have their passports? Ok, ok OK! I'll check. Geesh, give me a circuit break well ya?''
G214: ''Hey, do all you passengers have the necessary paperwork to go on this tour? You know, passports, visas, tickets, flight insurance.... Well?''
G214: ''I don't know, chief heh, they're all just standing there staring at me. Maybe their not programmed to my frequency.''
Computer Supervisor: Warbles
G214: ''Hey! What's the matter? Haven't you people ever seen intelligent life before? heh heh heh.''
Female Supervisor: ''Attention please, attention please, there has been a disruption in the labor output of droids, sector 2, all work is to resume immediately, or power disconnect with be initiated.''
Computer Supervisor:Warbles
G214: ''Hey! Get off my servos! I'm not the one who purchased all those defective RX pilots.''
Computer Supervisor:Warbles
G214: ''Have any of you humanoid's flown on a StarSpeeder before? Well, I hope you enjoy your tour. Now, Now, please keep your party together as you approach the loading concourse. Heh, that is, if you ever like to see them again. If not, you can say goodbye now, heh heh heh.''
Female Supervisor: ''Attention please, attention please, we are experiencing unusual behavior in the G2 droids in sector 2. Maintenance units begin surveillance of all sector 2, G2 droids.''
G214: ''What's this, do my senses deceive me? Or are their really passengers out there? Gee, I hope the new StarSpeeders run better then the one that brought me here. What a bucket of bolts! You'll never get me on one of those things in a billion light years.''
Computer Supervisor: Warbles
G214: ''Yeah, Chief.''
Computer Supervisor:Warbles
G214: ''What's that? Don't worry, those humanoids out there can't hear a word I am saying, as long as I have the comlink switched off.''
Computer Supervisor: Warbles
G214: ''Huh, it's not!?! Oh oh. Sssay, are you the lucky people that are gonna ride the new StarSpeeder 3000? Hhhey, wait til you see it! It's a real beauty, and what a ride! Smooth as transmission fluid! You'll never forget it!..... Although you probably wish you could.....''
Female Supervisor: ''Monitor circuits continue detect a decrease in production activities in droids sector 2. Shutdown procedures will begin in 60 seconds, unless output increases immediately.''
G214: ''Excuse me please, but you'll have to check the excess baggage. Huh? Oh I am terribly sorry, I didn't realize that was your husband. heh heh heh.''
Computer Supervisor: Warbles
G214: ''Sorry, Chief. My senses were out of focus there for a second.''
G214: ''Hi ya folks. I'm G214. I run this operation. Now if there's anything I can help you with..... Hey you over there. I'm talking to you! Could you creatures please give me your undivided attention for a moment? Thank you. As some of you have probably been wondering, you are flying with Star Tours today. Well, let me see. 1, 2, 3, 4... ah, do you want me to include you? Ok, 5, 6, ah stop back and check with me later, this could take a while. 7, 8, 9, 10...''
Female Supervisor: ''Malfunction in sector 2, malfunction in sector 2. All droids will be shutdown for reloading of labor program. Standby for power disconnect.''
Computer Supervisor:Warbles
G214: ''Well, it's break time. Wait, Wa-WAIT, I didn't mean thhaaatttt....''
BOARDING AREA:
We walk passed the custom's droid and are assigned a line in a ''StarSpeeder''. While we wait for the doors to open, TV monitors show ''our'' StarSpeeder begin worked on and serviced.
Male Announcer: ''Star Tours announces the arrival of the Endor Express. Once we had a chance to service the StarSpeeder, we'll begin our boarding procedures. Thank You.''
Female Announcer:''May I have your attention please? At this time, I'd like to take a moment to review our boarding process with you. When the automatic doors have opened, please proceed directly across the ramp, into the cabin. Continue to move all the way across your aisle, filling in every available seat. For your safety, all passengers are required to wear safety restraints throughout the flight. To fasten the restraint, pull the strap out from the right side of the seat and snap it into the console to your left. Galactic regulations require that all carry on items be safely stowed beneath your seat. While on board, flash photography is not permitted and please, no smoking at any time. If you have any questions, feel free to ask an attendant. You'll be boarding in just a few moments. Thank you, and have a pleasant tour.''
Male Announcer: ''Star Tours announces the boarding of the Endor Express, non-stop StarSpeeder service to the moon of Endor. All passengers, please prepare for immediate boarding.''
RIDE
IN THE CABIN:
You enter the cabin of the StarSpeeder 3000, and take your place in one of the five rows of seats. In front of you is a gray shield with the Star Tours logo on it. To the right of that is a TV. screen. After a Disney Cast Member makes sure everyone is buckled in, the ride begins.
The TV. screen comes on, and you see a droid, C3PO
CP30: ''Hello, I am CP30, human-cyborg relations. Welcome aboard the StarSpeeder 3000. Please make sure your safety restraints are securely fastened at this time. To fasten, pull the strap out from the right side of the seat, and snap it into the console to your left. Galactic regulations require all carry on items be safely stowed beneath your seats. Oh, and flash photography and smoking are absolutely prohibited while on board. Thank you, and do have a nice flight!''
On the TV screen you see your pilot droid Rex
Rex: ''Welcome aboard, this is Captain Rex, from the cockpit. I know this is probably your first flight...and it's mine too, ha ha. Well, it looks like it's going to have a smooth flight to Endor, so I'll go ahead and open the cockpit shield.''
The shield in front of all the seats lowers, revealing Rex in person in the left corner of the ship. In the center of the ship is our window to sightsee out of. Right now, all we see is a door.
Rex: ''Hi there! I see they're loading our navigator R2D2,''
TV. shows R2D2 being loaded into the top of the StarSpeeder
Rex: ''and then we'll be on our way - so sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight.''
Our ship shifts and starts to raise up to the runway.
Control Tower: ''Star Tours forty-five, elevator platform, commence final pre-flight check''
Rex: ''Roger, control, all status go''
Control Tower: ''ST forty-five, your cleared for takeoff, Contact departure control at one-two-zero point four''
Rex: ''Copy one-two-zero forty-four''
We see another StarSpeeder ship ahead of us going into an area marked 'To launching area'. Our ship all of a sudden makes a very jolting left turn - and we are now headed through some doors marked 'Maintenance Bay - Stay Clear'!
Control Tower: ''Forty-five, you're going the wrong way! Stop immediately!''
Rex: ''Uh-oh, wrong way. Brakes. Brakes! Where are the brakes? Ahhhhh!''
We fall over a sharp drop into the maintenance area. Our ship nearly hits moving crane in mid-air. Our ship goes through a hole in the back of the maintenance bay area into deep space. We can see the ship that was in front of us on the runway moving against the stars. That ship jumps to light speed and is gone.
Rex:''Uhhh - I meant to do that. A little shortcut...ha ha!''
Star Wars theme music cuts in sharply
Rex:''R2!,''
R2D2:Whistles
Rex: ''Light speed to Endor!''
In front of us we see the stars whiz by us at light speed. We are being pushed back into our seats - due to the fact that we are traveling at light speed and all. The TV. flashes the message on it ''Approaching Endor''. We then see Endor fly by as we pass it. The TV. then flashes the message ''Leaving Endor''.
Rex:''R2!?!, we passed the Endor moon!''
R2D2 Beeps.
In front of us we see streaming particles of ice coming closer to us.
Rex: ''Now what's the matter? Comets? Comets! Ladies and gentlemen there may be some turbulence up ahead, please make sure your seat belts are fastened!''
Our ship dodges some oncoming comets, then comes uncomfortably close to one oncoming comet and then goes into the comet.
Rex:''I have a very bad feeling about this! Ahhhh....''
Our ship swerves right and left to avoid hitting the sides of any of the narrow ice crystal pathways inside the comet. It is like going through a maze. Our ship comes to a dead end within the comet - a solid wall of ice. We explode right through the ice wall and find that we are back in outer space, free from the confines of the comet.
Rex: ''Well, you can relax now. Everything's under control, and ah, we will be on our way to the Endor moon without any further delay.''
Our ship is gradually leaning more and more to the right as Rex is saying this. It is clear everything is not under control.
R2D2:Beeps
In front of us we see a ship, a huge ship - an Imperial Star Destroyer. Our ship is being pulled closer and closer to its underbelly. The TV. flashes the message, ''System Override''.
Rex: ''Oh no! We're caught in a tractor beam!!''
We see flying around in front of our ship attacking X-Wing fighters and Tie Fighters. The TV. screen breaks in with an image of an X-Wing fighter pilot talking to us...
X-Wing Pilot: ''Star Tours?!? What are you doing here? This is a combat zone, it is restricted! Ease off on your main thrusters.''
Rex eases off the main thruster, and we are free of the tractor beam. We are now caught in the middle of a battle between the Rebels and the Empire. We see ships fly about firing away against the backdrop of the Death Star. Our ship begins to get fired upon, so we begin to fire against oncoming Tie Fighters. We then feel a massive jolt, and our ship plummets towards the Death Star suddenly. The TV. flashes the message, ''Malfunction''.
Rex: ''Ahhhh... We've been hit! R2, get the stabilizer fixed...and hurry! We're losing altitude fast!''
We hang for a little while, and then evidently R2 does restore power back to our ship. The TV. flashes the message, ''Systems OK''.
X-Wing pilot: ''Red 24, Red 30, Follow me.''
Rex: ''O.K., I've always wanted to do this - we're going in!''
We fly toward the surface of the Death Star, and just about hit the back of an X-Wing fighter in front of us
Rex: ''Yikes!''
Rex pulls the ship back to avoid hitting the X-Wing fighter.Our ship follows the X-Wing fighters in front of us against the varied surface of the Death Star. We swerve in and out of openings, and dodge enemy shot blasts. Our ship follows the other ships and flies up and circles around, then goes back toward the Death Star headed toward the trench.
Rex: ''Yaaahoooo!!!''
X-Wing Pilot: ''Red 24, I'm going in!''
In the trench, we blast a couple of oncoming Tie Fighters
X-Wing Pilot:''Target range''
And watch as the X-Wing fighter in front of us drops two shots down the exhaust port at the end of the trench to blow up the Death Star. We see an explosion start to come up from the port. Our ship quickly raises up.
Rex:''We did it!''
X-Wing Pilot: ''All ships - jump to light speed.''
Rex: ''Hang on back there, light speed!''
Our ship once again travels at light speed. When we come out of it, we are near the Star Tours spaceport. We can see other StarSpeeder 3000's taxi along below us. We enter into a docking bay, and are headed straight for a moving truck marked 'Flammable' on the side!
Rex:''Brakeeeeesss!!!!''
Our ship comes to grinding halt, and starts to lower to the area where we got on.
Rex: ''Hey sorry folks, I am sure to do better next time. It was my first flight, and I'm still getting used to my programming!''
The shield at the front of the ship starts to raise up
Rex: ''Hey!, Hey!''
The TV. screen comes on, and you see C3PO
C3P0: ''We hope you enjoyed your flight. When the captain has opened the exit doors, you may then unlatch your safety restraints by pressing the release button on your left. Oh and do make sure you have your personal belongings. Thank you. Good day!''
The Star Wars music kicks in hard. We exit the ship into a hallway decorated with posters for Star Tours destinations, like Hoth, Bespin, Endor, and Tatooine.
Click Here To Gain Access
